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Sunday, March 13, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Week 6 as a level 5 nursing student
So it has been 4 months since I've updated this old friend. A lot has happened. Level 4 flew by...in retrospect. When it was happening, I struggled. I also became incredibly connected with a large group of amazing women I call friends. Friends emerge when facing the same challenges, right?
I learned so much about myself last semester and I fell in love with general medicine - only because I saw the potential for growth. I made some of my fondest memories thus far from nursing on 7A/B at St. Paul's. Among those are: being coined 'geisha helper', being hit on by multiple patients in the same shift, becoming well seasoned with the NG tube, necrotic toes, having a pt tell the other SN they were glad I'd be coming back the next morning, having the UC tell me I was fantastic with the pt assignment I had because she'd seen that other RNs were very short with them, and offering cold/room temp apple sauce to my pt (to provide choice) only to have my buddy RNs laugh at me. I smiled and said 'it's always good to give a choice' because I fully believe in that. She said 'but then they'll expect that from every RN from now on'. Is that wrong? To want a choice? I don't think so. I'm going to live by it.
This semester I'm doing my public health rotation and have been working with teen mothers, promoting sexual health, and working with the BC Cancer Agency in promoting their 5 gives you 50.
5 gives you 50 is the BCCA's campaign that basically let's the public know that 50% of cancers are preventable and you can decrease your chances of getting cancer by doing 5 things:
1. Be sun safe - limit your exposure to UV rays by using sun screen
2. Stay clear of tobacco use
3. Maintain a healthy weight
4. Lead a healthy active lifestyle by exercising
5. Maintain a healthy diet
Last week, my partner and I dressed up as a penis and vagina to promote sexual health and awareness at the various BCIT campuses. We took pictures in our costumes and we actually drew a number of people to our booth with our get-ups. It was so interesting seeing the different cultures at the different campuses. At the downtown campus, you could see that people were interested but were afraid to be the lone person to come up to our booth whereas the campus on great northern way (a trades male dominant campus)had no hesitation. The BCIT marine campus in north van had a very friendly bunch and were super friendly. The aerospace campus in richmond was super fun! The people there were very similar to the crowd we have at the burnaby campus and their one building is SOOOOOO nice! Tomorrow is our day on burnaby campus and I'm excited for what's in store.
I'm also really enjoying working with teen mothers and I'm finding it very humbling. My time there definitely warrants a separate post.
The online classes are definitely challenging me. Luckily, my partner and good friend is incredibly organized. I'm very fortunate to be partnered up with her. We debrief together, cry together, and laugh together, celebrating our successes and pitfalls while encouraging each other. :)
I learned so much about myself last semester and I fell in love with general medicine - only because I saw the potential for growth. I made some of my fondest memories thus far from nursing on 7A/B at St. Paul's. Among those are: being coined 'geisha helper', being hit on by multiple patients in the same shift, becoming well seasoned with the NG tube, necrotic toes, having a pt tell the other SN they were glad I'd be coming back the next morning, having the UC tell me I was fantastic with the pt assignment I had because she'd seen that other RNs were very short with them, and offering cold/room temp apple sauce to my pt (to provide choice) only to have my buddy RNs laugh at me. I smiled and said 'it's always good to give a choice' because I fully believe in that. She said 'but then they'll expect that from every RN from now on'. Is that wrong? To want a choice? I don't think so. I'm going to live by it.
This semester I'm doing my public health rotation and have been working with teen mothers, promoting sexual health, and working with the BC Cancer Agency in promoting their 5 gives you 50.
5 gives you 50 is the BCCA's campaign that basically let's the public know that 50% of cancers are preventable and you can decrease your chances of getting cancer by doing 5 things:
1. Be sun safe - limit your exposure to UV rays by using sun screen
2. Stay clear of tobacco use
3. Maintain a healthy weight
4. Lead a healthy active lifestyle by exercising
5. Maintain a healthy diet
Last week, my partner and I dressed up as a penis and vagina to promote sexual health and awareness at the various BCIT campuses. We took pictures in our costumes and we actually drew a number of people to our booth with our get-ups. It was so interesting seeing the different cultures at the different campuses. At the downtown campus, you could see that people were interested but were afraid to be the lone person to come up to our booth whereas the campus on great northern way (a trades male dominant campus)had no hesitation. The BCIT marine campus in north van had a very friendly bunch and were super friendly. The aerospace campus in richmond was super fun! The people there were very similar to the crowd we have at the burnaby campus and their one building is SOOOOOO nice! Tomorrow is our day on burnaby campus and I'm excited for what's in store.
I'm also really enjoying working with teen mothers and I'm finding it very humbling. My time there definitely warrants a separate post.
The online classes are definitely challenging me. Luckily, my partner and good friend is incredibly organized. I'm very fortunate to be partnered up with her. We debrief together, cry together, and laugh together, celebrating our successes and pitfalls while encouraging each other. :)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Week 8 as a level 4 nursing student
Well. It's official, my friends. I've made it halfway through this semester! Yessssssss!
I'm not sure if you could tell, but last week was pretty hard. In my assessment for one of my patients, I missed that there was a bit of necrosis on their foot until my friend (who had the same pt assignment after my shift was over) asked me about it. I felt so dumb and just couldn't get past something like that. I was so frustrated with myself for missing something I should've seen. I took the socks off and charted about a bit of a break on the OTHER side of the foot but completely overlooked the part that was actually necrotic. I look back on it now and we laugh, because it's a learning experience, isn't it? But believe you me, last weekend, I beat myself up pretty bad about it. It wasn't just the necrotic foot, it was that I plugged the NG tube with my poorly crushed meds on Thur, then the missed necrosis on BOTH days and that I thought my pt was having a heart attack on Fri morning. I haven't gone home wanting to cry that badly since level 1. In fact, I haven't felt so incompetent in a really long time. But as it always is, you're your own toughest critic, right? Don't get me wrong, I'm not discounting the fact that I should've seen it and caught on, but I am only human. Moreover, I'm still a student and still learning.
Last weekend was relaxing. I met up with two nursing friends on Sun to study for our midterm on Tue for PBL on campus, but beforehand, two of us went running around the track at school. It was so good, we ran 5 laps and talked about what crappy weeks we both had. Knowing that I wasn't alone really helped. We studied diabetes for about 4 hours on Sunday and then we had a bigger study session on Monday night, too. We did a bit of studying, had dinner together, then finished the rest of the content.
This week in clinical, I felt like a rockstar with the NG tube because I went through mishaps the previous week. I don't know if Julie purposely gave me that assignment as a test, but in retrospect, I am thinking...hey, I learned from my mistakes. And that's the beauty of learning, isn't it? To continually surpass your previous benchmarks, striving for improvement, and consistently honing on your existing skills. This week, I left clinical really happy. Why? Because I was able to actually talk with my two patients, to get to know them in depth. I've realized that's where my passion in nursing comes from - the past 3 semesters, I was able to really get to know my patients. This semester, I've become so task-oriented that I lost sight of it. I felt so fulfilled being able to have conversations with my patients about their lives, their families, and things they cared about. I've missed being able to connect with ppl.
This past week, I had my mid-term evaluation with my instructor. :) I think the thing that made me happiest to hear was that many nurses said they liked working with me and that they felt I was a really good team player. My instructor was saying she wanted me to go find her more often to go over research and whatnot. I kind of got the feeling she felt I avoided her at times, which is NOT THE CASE AT ALL!! I find her incredibly approachable and I've been trying to become more independent this entire semester, so I think I'm trying too hard to be independent. I just see this as the last semester with an instructor, so it's time I get used to not asking for answers, but she's totally right, it's different asking her for answers and proposing answers I've thought up myself (which I thought I did, but I guess I don't!) So that was a good point for me to hear. A bit disappointing, but something else to strive for, right?
Here's to an incredible latter half of the term.
I've had a pt with malaria! They were lovely. :)
Applied to volunteer at the Vancouver Friends for Life Society! I've been wanting to do this since level 2!! A whole year, I've waited!!!! Yes. The time has come to stop procrastinating for everything. I'm running in a half marathon in May, I'm volunteering at this society. I need to live in the now, not in what's to come, two, three years down the line. This is my now.
I'm not sure if you could tell, but last week was pretty hard. In my assessment for one of my patients, I missed that there was a bit of necrosis on their foot until my friend (who had the same pt assignment after my shift was over) asked me about it. I felt so dumb and just couldn't get past something like that. I was so frustrated with myself for missing something I should've seen. I took the socks off and charted about a bit of a break on the OTHER side of the foot but completely overlooked the part that was actually necrotic. I look back on it now and we laugh, because it's a learning experience, isn't it? But believe you me, last weekend, I beat myself up pretty bad about it. It wasn't just the necrotic foot, it was that I plugged the NG tube with my poorly crushed meds on Thur, then the missed necrosis on BOTH days and that I thought my pt was having a heart attack on Fri morning. I haven't gone home wanting to cry that badly since level 1. In fact, I haven't felt so incompetent in a really long time. But as it always is, you're your own toughest critic, right? Don't get me wrong, I'm not discounting the fact that I should've seen it and caught on, but I am only human. Moreover, I'm still a student and still learning.
Last weekend was relaxing. I met up with two nursing friends on Sun to study for our midterm on Tue for PBL on campus, but beforehand, two of us went running around the track at school. It was so good, we ran 5 laps and talked about what crappy weeks we both had. Knowing that I wasn't alone really helped. We studied diabetes for about 4 hours on Sunday and then we had a bigger study session on Monday night, too. We did a bit of studying, had dinner together, then finished the rest of the content.
This week in clinical, I felt like a rockstar with the NG tube because I went through mishaps the previous week. I don't know if Julie purposely gave me that assignment as a test, but in retrospect, I am thinking...hey, I learned from my mistakes. And that's the beauty of learning, isn't it? To continually surpass your previous benchmarks, striving for improvement, and consistently honing on your existing skills. This week, I left clinical really happy. Why? Because I was able to actually talk with my two patients, to get to know them in depth. I've realized that's where my passion in nursing comes from - the past 3 semesters, I was able to really get to know my patients. This semester, I've become so task-oriented that I lost sight of it. I felt so fulfilled being able to have conversations with my patients about their lives, their families, and things they cared about. I've missed being able to connect with ppl.
This past week, I had my mid-term evaluation with my instructor. :) I think the thing that made me happiest to hear was that many nurses said they liked working with me and that they felt I was a really good team player. My instructor was saying she wanted me to go find her more often to go over research and whatnot. I kind of got the feeling she felt I avoided her at times, which is NOT THE CASE AT ALL!! I find her incredibly approachable and I've been trying to become more independent this entire semester, so I think I'm trying too hard to be independent. I just see this as the last semester with an instructor, so it's time I get used to not asking for answers, but she's totally right, it's different asking her for answers and proposing answers I've thought up myself (which I thought I did, but I guess I don't!) So that was a good point for me to hear. A bit disappointing, but something else to strive for, right?
Here's to an incredible latter half of the term.
I've had a pt with malaria! They were lovely. :)
Applied to volunteer at the Vancouver Friends for Life Society! I've been wanting to do this since level 2!! A whole year, I've waited!!!! Yes. The time has come to stop procrastinating for everything. I'm running in a half marathon in May, I'm volunteering at this society. I need to live in the now, not in what's to come, two, three years down the line. This is my now.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Weeks 5-7 as a level 4 nursing student
I know I've been neglecting this blog like nobody's business. I guess that goes to show how tough it's been the past 4 weeks. It's been so busy I don't even really have time to cry. I feel so overwhelmed with everything I don't know and everything I've been missing that I don't even know what to do, sometimes. I keep replying to the 'how was clinical?'s with a generic 'it was good.' because I don't have the energy to even talk about how busy school, work, St John, and life have been. I haven't been this tired for this consistent a period of time in....I don't even remember. I haven't struggled this much with nursing school ever. Stay positive, stay positive, I know. And I try. Believe you me, I try. Frontload, you say? This semester, it's been on a week-week basis. But it's ok, in hindsight, everything's 20/20. Once xmas arrives and I get together with all my friends (if they still remember me) and do our homemade gift exchange, I'll look back and laugh at my very haggard self.
Highlights:
- Knowing that what sucks for me is nothing compared to someone who's been diagnosed w kidney failure, on welfare, has a child to support, and lost their child 3 years ago.
- Knowing that my nursing friends are right where I am, and who care enough to take the time to remind me of that.
- Knowing that had my pt actually had an MI, I would have done all the right things (lol)
- Knowing that I have the ability to voice my own thoughts and rationales about why I would do things the way I do it and not just follow suit.
- Discovering that you CAN make improvements in just one day, with just one experience, and you can rock that NG tube
- Taking the time to talk to a pt and preventing them from having a fall (true story).
- Consistently realizing the need for being flexible
- Having great friends I can depend on, who know exactly what I'm going through, who I don't always have to be jolly around
- Realizing what my limitations are and being able to stand up and articulate what I can't do without feeling incompetent
I know the first part of this entry was really bleak and this post wasn't great in terms of pt experiences, but I'm on a professional practice paper writing hiatus at the moment and those articles aren't going to read themselves. Oh, and trust me when I say I will come out of this semester a champ.
Highlights:
- Knowing that what sucks for me is nothing compared to someone who's been diagnosed w kidney failure, on welfare, has a child to support, and lost their child 3 years ago.
- Knowing that my nursing friends are right where I am, and who care enough to take the time to remind me of that.
- Knowing that had my pt actually had an MI, I would have done all the right things (lol)
- Knowing that I have the ability to voice my own thoughts and rationales about why I would do things the way I do it and not just follow suit.
- Discovering that you CAN make improvements in just one day, with just one experience, and you can rock that NG tube
- Taking the time to talk to a pt and preventing them from having a fall (true story).
- Consistently realizing the need for being flexible
- Having great friends I can depend on, who know exactly what I'm going through, who I don't always have to be jolly around
- Realizing what my limitations are and being able to stand up and articulate what I can't do without feeling incompetent
I know the first part of this entry was really bleak and this post wasn't great in terms of pt experiences, but I'm on a professional practice paper writing hiatus at the moment and those articles aren't going to read themselves. Oh, and trust me when I say I will come out of this semester a champ.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Week 3 and 4 as a level 4 nursing student
In week 3, we started on days and I had one pt who was lovely, but I was also able to help out with so many pts those two days! It really felt good to be back and I was so excited to be back doing skills and working. My instructor's really laid-back but still expects us to deliver, so I really dig the style.
There was a pt vomiting blood on Fri and I was checking this pt's vital signs with my classmate. When I was checking the resp rate, I had counted for about 10 seconds and realized that there WAS no breathing. I motioned to my classmate to count with me and after about another 10 seconds, the look on our faces was pretty much the same. I knew, without words, that we were both thinking 'CODE BLUE'. It was like I was looking in a mirror, cuz I'm pretty sure that's how I looked, too. In my mind, I know I was thinking...'ok, what do I have to do? Is his airway open? Press the code button. Pull out the pillow, give two breaths....compressions....' One of the things I fear is calling a code unnecessarily...but I guess it's better to call a code than to not call one and have something even worse than embarrassment happen, right? Anyway, we made sure to do everything possible to wake him up by shaking him, grabbing his shoulder, and doing the sternal rub. After the sternal rub, he GASPED for air. Again, the look on our faces was like..."THANK GOD!!!!" Turns out it was sleep apnea, but MAN! That was intense. My heart was beating so hard and so fast...I don't think I can remember when the last time was that I felt so.....intense....but that's not even the right word for it. I'll have to think about that.
So this week, week 4, was a disaster and a half. We started at 1300 and finished at 2200. I was frantically trying to figure out what information I needed to know for my pts and their diagnoses. I was just not with it and couldn't figure out why. It was really frustrating for me, actually. Then I went home and was like....'ok. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be better.' and it KIND OF was, but still. I don't know why, but I just felt so blah. Next week will be better. This was just a weird week, I think. I'm still me, don't worry. :)
There was a pt vomiting blood on Fri and I was checking this pt's vital signs with my classmate. When I was checking the resp rate, I had counted for about 10 seconds and realized that there WAS no breathing. I motioned to my classmate to count with me and after about another 10 seconds, the look on our faces was pretty much the same. I knew, without words, that we were both thinking 'CODE BLUE'. It was like I was looking in a mirror, cuz I'm pretty sure that's how I looked, too. In my mind, I know I was thinking...'ok, what do I have to do? Is his airway open? Press the code button. Pull out the pillow, give two breaths....compressions....' One of the things I fear is calling a code unnecessarily...but I guess it's better to call a code than to not call one and have something even worse than embarrassment happen, right? Anyway, we made sure to do everything possible to wake him up by shaking him, grabbing his shoulder, and doing the sternal rub. After the sternal rub, he GASPED for air. Again, the look on our faces was like..."THANK GOD!!!!" Turns out it was sleep apnea, but MAN! That was intense. My heart was beating so hard and so fast...I don't think I can remember when the last time was that I felt so.....intense....but that's not even the right word for it. I'll have to think about that.
So this week, week 4, was a disaster and a half. We started at 1300 and finished at 2200. I was frantically trying to figure out what information I needed to know for my pts and their diagnoses. I was just not with it and couldn't figure out why. It was really frustrating for me, actually. Then I went home and was like....'ok. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be better.' and it KIND OF was, but still. I don't know why, but I just felt so blah. Next week will be better. This was just a weird week, I think. I'm still me, don't worry. :)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Week 2 as a level 4 student
This week was our first day back in the hospital in scrubs. We were shadowing a buddy nurse and had a three pt assignment but I didn't do many skills - just took out a saline lock :) Still, it was exciting to be able to do things and interact with pts and nurses again.
The highlight of this week was being able to connect with a pt who was a bit agitated in the beginning of my shift. He was at risk for choking, so his diet was modified to thickened fluids but could have water if supervised. After lunch, he asked for some water and I said he could have some if he took small sips, but he did have dementia, so maybe that's why he had a difficult time processing what I was saying. He ended up getting really frustrated with me and swore a few times. I was surprised that I wasn't taken aback by his outbursts and repeated what I had said firmly - not sure if that added anything to the situation at all. I gave him some and was hovering (unaware) by his side and by the suction just in case. It's funny because we talk about self-awareness, but I was so worried about him choking, that I guess my body language mimicked it because he said to me, 'relax, mate, why do you look so nervous?' I literally think I was standing with my shoulders up by my ears and my arms were like Mr Burns' from the Simpsons hahaha. I was impressed because that's another lesson learned from a pt - when in hospital, you don't want to feel any different from anyone else. You want a drink of water, something so simple to most, yet you need to be supervised. Worse yet, the person supervising you is hovering over you like you're a baby eating a grape (major choking hazard). Haha. Noone wants to feel that way. Does your mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend ever nag at you and watch you do something you feel perfectly competent in doing? How do you feel when that happens? A bit angry? A bit agitated? Food for thought.
Rest assured, my story has a happy ending! When I woke him to say goodbye at the end of my shift, he stirred and said 'thank you for being so kind to me.' That made my day worth it. It's all worth it.
Talking about becoming more 'emotionally intelligent' and tapping into my own emotions, I found myself feeling really unhappy yesterday. It wasn't that I was unhappy, exactly, but I felt like something was really bugging me. I couldn't put my finger on it. Part of it is being around negative ppl - I just can't take constant negativity. It totally messes with me. I think my feeling of 'unhappiness' yesterday was actually stress. Haha! It was because I was assigned a presentation on Tue for PBL and I have to present this upcoming Tue and I hadn't started yet. It was stress that I was feeling but couldn't really pinpoint until hours later. How do I not know what stress feels like....?
Ridiculous. So I made a to-do list and did some research in the hospital today. :) All better!
Learning and living and recovering from the long weekend....
The highlight of this week was being able to connect with a pt who was a bit agitated in the beginning of my shift. He was at risk for choking, so his diet was modified to thickened fluids but could have water if supervised. After lunch, he asked for some water and I said he could have some if he took small sips, but he did have dementia, so maybe that's why he had a difficult time processing what I was saying. He ended up getting really frustrated with me and swore a few times. I was surprised that I wasn't taken aback by his outbursts and repeated what I had said firmly - not sure if that added anything to the situation at all. I gave him some and was hovering (unaware) by his side and by the suction just in case. It's funny because we talk about self-awareness, but I was so worried about him choking, that I guess my body language mimicked it because he said to me, 'relax, mate, why do you look so nervous?' I literally think I was standing with my shoulders up by my ears and my arms were like Mr Burns' from the Simpsons hahaha. I was impressed because that's another lesson learned from a pt - when in hospital, you don't want to feel any different from anyone else. You want a drink of water, something so simple to most, yet you need to be supervised. Worse yet, the person supervising you is hovering over you like you're a baby eating a grape (major choking hazard). Haha. Noone wants to feel that way. Does your mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend ever nag at you and watch you do something you feel perfectly competent in doing? How do you feel when that happens? A bit angry? A bit agitated? Food for thought.
Rest assured, my story has a happy ending! When I woke him to say goodbye at the end of my shift, he stirred and said 'thank you for being so kind to me.' That made my day worth it. It's all worth it.
Talking about becoming more 'emotionally intelligent' and tapping into my own emotions, I found myself feeling really unhappy yesterday. It wasn't that I was unhappy, exactly, but I felt like something was really bugging me. I couldn't put my finger on it. Part of it is being around negative ppl - I just can't take constant negativity. It totally messes with me. I think my feeling of 'unhappiness' yesterday was actually stress. Haha! It was because I was assigned a presentation on Tue for PBL and I have to present this upcoming Tue and I hadn't started yet. It was stress that I was feeling but couldn't really pinpoint until hours later. How do I not know what stress feels like....?
Ridiculous. So I made a to-do list and did some research in the hospital today. :) All better!
Learning and living and recovering from the long weekend....
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
WEEK 1 AS A LEVEL 4 NURSING STUDENT
Wellllllll, time has just flown by, hasn't it? I guess 3 weeks really is no time. I'm sure that will make me feel much better by the time week 7 of school hits. Hahaha!
So this week felt hectic, as usual. Luckily, my new planner has become my best friend. There was a lot of course reading to become acquainted with the guidelines and requirements.
I'm really excited about my classes - I feel like I can learn a lot about patho this semester in clinical AND PBL. It seems to me like I've learned to let the little things go. I can't quite put my finger on it, but in PBL when we were discussing group norms and presentation topics and dates, I felt a sense of zen which I hadn't felt at all before in PBL. I'm still trying to figure it out....it's not at all that I don't care about school anymore, because, hello, keener much? I think it's moreso that I'm trying to be more open and flexible to everything - Karen was right, there are a lot of things I can't control in life. I need to look and focus on what I can do, right? Is it really worth me becoming worked up over something small? On the grand scheme of things, something like calling vs texting is not a huge deal. I will always have my personal preferences, but I can only control what I do.
I'm super excited to be at SPH! Clinical rotations are on Thur/Fri and we get to do days and evenings! Evenings mean that we get off at 2200 meaning xmas lights!!! I'm so excited!!
Anyway, lots more to say, I'm sure, but I must attend to my Community Nursing discussion posting now! Until week 2, folks!
So this week felt hectic, as usual. Luckily, my new planner has become my best friend. There was a lot of course reading to become acquainted with the guidelines and requirements.
I'm really excited about my classes - I feel like I can learn a lot about patho this semester in clinical AND PBL. It seems to me like I've learned to let the little things go. I can't quite put my finger on it, but in PBL when we were discussing group norms and presentation topics and dates, I felt a sense of zen which I hadn't felt at all before in PBL. I'm still trying to figure it out....it's not at all that I don't care about school anymore, because, hello, keener much? I think it's moreso that I'm trying to be more open and flexible to everything - Karen was right, there are a lot of things I can't control in life. I need to look and focus on what I can do, right? Is it really worth me becoming worked up over something small? On the grand scheme of things, something like calling vs texting is not a huge deal. I will always have my personal preferences, but I can only control what I do.
I'm super excited to be at SPH! Clinical rotations are on Thur/Fri and we get to do days and evenings! Evenings mean that we get off at 2200 meaning xmas lights!!! I'm so excited!!
Anyway, lots more to say, I'm sure, but I must attend to my Community Nursing discussion posting now! Until week 2, folks!
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