In week 3, we started on days and I had one pt who was lovely, but I was also able to help out with so many pts those two days! It really felt good to be back and I was so excited to be back doing skills and working. My instructor's really laid-back but still expects us to deliver, so I really dig the style.
There was a pt vomiting blood on Fri and I was checking this pt's vital signs with my classmate. When I was checking the resp rate, I had counted for about 10 seconds and realized that there WAS no breathing. I motioned to my classmate to count with me and after about another 10 seconds, the look on our faces was pretty much the same. I knew, without words, that we were both thinking 'CODE BLUE'. It was like I was looking in a mirror, cuz I'm pretty sure that's how I looked, too. In my mind, I know I was thinking...'ok, what do I have to do? Is his airway open? Press the code button. Pull out the pillow, give two breaths....compressions....' One of the things I fear is calling a code unnecessarily...but I guess it's better to call a code than to not call one and have something even worse than embarrassment happen, right? Anyway, we made sure to do everything possible to wake him up by shaking him, grabbing his shoulder, and doing the sternal rub. After the sternal rub, he GASPED for air. Again, the look on our faces was like..."THANK GOD!!!!" Turns out it was sleep apnea, but MAN! That was intense. My heart was beating so hard and so fast...I don't think I can remember when the last time was that I felt so.....intense....but that's not even the right word for it. I'll have to think about that.
So this week, week 4, was a disaster and a half. We started at 1300 and finished at 2200. I was frantically trying to figure out what information I needed to know for my pts and their diagnoses. I was just not with it and couldn't figure out why. It was really frustrating for me, actually. Then I went home and was like....'ok. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be better.' and it KIND OF was, but still. I don't know why, but I just felt so blah. Next week will be better. This was just a weird week, I think. I'm still me, don't worry. :)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Week 2 as a level 4 student
This week was our first day back in the hospital in scrubs. We were shadowing a buddy nurse and had a three pt assignment but I didn't do many skills - just took out a saline lock :) Still, it was exciting to be able to do things and interact with pts and nurses again.
The highlight of this week was being able to connect with a pt who was a bit agitated in the beginning of my shift. He was at risk for choking, so his diet was modified to thickened fluids but could have water if supervised. After lunch, he asked for some water and I said he could have some if he took small sips, but he did have dementia, so maybe that's why he had a difficult time processing what I was saying. He ended up getting really frustrated with me and swore a few times. I was surprised that I wasn't taken aback by his outbursts and repeated what I had said firmly - not sure if that added anything to the situation at all. I gave him some and was hovering (unaware) by his side and by the suction just in case. It's funny because we talk about self-awareness, but I was so worried about him choking, that I guess my body language mimicked it because he said to me, 'relax, mate, why do you look so nervous?' I literally think I was standing with my shoulders up by my ears and my arms were like Mr Burns' from the Simpsons hahaha. I was impressed because that's another lesson learned from a pt - when in hospital, you don't want to feel any different from anyone else. You want a drink of water, something so simple to most, yet you need to be supervised. Worse yet, the person supervising you is hovering over you like you're a baby eating a grape (major choking hazard). Haha. Noone wants to feel that way. Does your mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend ever nag at you and watch you do something you feel perfectly competent in doing? How do you feel when that happens? A bit angry? A bit agitated? Food for thought.
Rest assured, my story has a happy ending! When I woke him to say goodbye at the end of my shift, he stirred and said 'thank you for being so kind to me.' That made my day worth it. It's all worth it.
Talking about becoming more 'emotionally intelligent' and tapping into my own emotions, I found myself feeling really unhappy yesterday. It wasn't that I was unhappy, exactly, but I felt like something was really bugging me. I couldn't put my finger on it. Part of it is being around negative ppl - I just can't take constant negativity. It totally messes with me. I think my feeling of 'unhappiness' yesterday was actually stress. Haha! It was because I was assigned a presentation on Tue for PBL and I have to present this upcoming Tue and I hadn't started yet. It was stress that I was feeling but couldn't really pinpoint until hours later. How do I not know what stress feels like....?
Ridiculous. So I made a to-do list and did some research in the hospital today. :) All better!
Learning and living and recovering from the long weekend....
The highlight of this week was being able to connect with a pt who was a bit agitated in the beginning of my shift. He was at risk for choking, so his diet was modified to thickened fluids but could have water if supervised. After lunch, he asked for some water and I said he could have some if he took small sips, but he did have dementia, so maybe that's why he had a difficult time processing what I was saying. He ended up getting really frustrated with me and swore a few times. I was surprised that I wasn't taken aback by his outbursts and repeated what I had said firmly - not sure if that added anything to the situation at all. I gave him some and was hovering (unaware) by his side and by the suction just in case. It's funny because we talk about self-awareness, but I was so worried about him choking, that I guess my body language mimicked it because he said to me, 'relax, mate, why do you look so nervous?' I literally think I was standing with my shoulders up by my ears and my arms were like Mr Burns' from the Simpsons hahaha. I was impressed because that's another lesson learned from a pt - when in hospital, you don't want to feel any different from anyone else. You want a drink of water, something so simple to most, yet you need to be supervised. Worse yet, the person supervising you is hovering over you like you're a baby eating a grape (major choking hazard). Haha. Noone wants to feel that way. Does your mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend ever nag at you and watch you do something you feel perfectly competent in doing? How do you feel when that happens? A bit angry? A bit agitated? Food for thought.
Rest assured, my story has a happy ending! When I woke him to say goodbye at the end of my shift, he stirred and said 'thank you for being so kind to me.' That made my day worth it. It's all worth it.
Talking about becoming more 'emotionally intelligent' and tapping into my own emotions, I found myself feeling really unhappy yesterday. It wasn't that I was unhappy, exactly, but I felt like something was really bugging me. I couldn't put my finger on it. Part of it is being around negative ppl - I just can't take constant negativity. It totally messes with me. I think my feeling of 'unhappiness' yesterday was actually stress. Haha! It was because I was assigned a presentation on Tue for PBL and I have to present this upcoming Tue and I hadn't started yet. It was stress that I was feeling but couldn't really pinpoint until hours later. How do I not know what stress feels like....?
Ridiculous. So I made a to-do list and did some research in the hospital today. :) All better!
Learning and living and recovering from the long weekend....
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