The realities of nice-ness

So much has happened since I’ve last blogged that I can’t even remember where I left off. I literally have to refer back to my older posts to jog my mind.

In general, I try not to get swept up in the little things. I don’t normally become stressed out with assignments and a heavy workload, but moreso with interpersonal relationships. I know myself, and I know that part of myself well.

I was told right from the beginning that I could not be friends with the students but they could be friends with me. I’ve been trying really hard to make the diagnostic lab course make sense for nursing students, so I’ve been pushing them. I’ll admit it. But I’ve also tried really hard to make myself available for help – I come into the office pretty early and stay until late (by Bangladeshi standards) just in case a student is still here and needs to ask a question. These are the assignment guidelines, maybe you can tell me if it makes sense:

Each person is assigned 2 lab tests to look up what it does, the normal range, what high/low levels may indicate, and what nursing implications come from the high/low levels. For example if someone has a low hemoglobin level, this could indicate anemia, so as a nurse, we would monitor for shortness of breath, fatigue, weakness, resp rate and O2 sats. I assigned these a few weeks ago and when I received them, I was having a hard time editing them all. So I’ve started to teach an extra lab session on Saturdays because there is no RN to take them to the hospital, I’ve done some reviews on the head-to-toe assessment and then had them look over someone else’s work as an editing exercise. I did this so that they could see the importance of submitting a coherent assignment. I had made track changes in the documents they sent me, but I asked them to edit as well so they would have some practice in researching and appreciate the work that goes into marking. So I can appreciate that there may have been double the work done (students and I both had to do this) but it was the principle that I was going after. So I get it, the students are very flexible and have been, for the most part, cooperative.

I gave them the presentation assignment on July 5 and they had one week to prepare for it. In PBL, it’s pretty standard. They were put into partnerships and each set of partners were assigned two pathophysiological condition (ex. Coronary artery disease and myocardial infarction). They are to present on the patho briefly and talk about the labs that are associated with the condition. (ex. What tests would be ordered to test for CAD?) Then they had to talk about the nursing implications. Most of the labs had already been assigned previously, so most of the work (after they make revisions) has already been done. To try and make it fair, I prepared a presentation, too, on diabetes.

The problem I’m facing is that students are complaining about me giving too much work and I’ve been receiving a couple of flippant comments. It makes me feel really bad. But on that same note, I know that I have a rationale for assigning this. If you give an assignment without rhyme or reason, then why assign it? I have been trying really hard to tie it into nursing. It makes my heart really heavy. I am trying to rationalize it by saying that these aren’t my friends who are dissatisfied with me, and these aren’t my friends who are complaining about me. I am here to be their teacher, to enrich their learning experience. You can’t win them all. I can’t win them all. I’m having a really hard time trying to be assertive and friendly at the same time. I guess I need to realize and demonstrate that even though I am still a student, that I am teaching their class, that I am leading their class. I can’t be friends with everyone. Push me hard enough and disrespect me in my class one more time and I will have to take action. Respect is a two way street, right? My sister swears I’m too nice to ppl even though I don’t see it, but I guess I still am.
My time is running out here. I have 11 more days and 3 more in-class sessions with this group. I say that not meaning ‘I only have to put up with them for 3 more days’ but ‘I will overcome this within the next 3 classes’. Watch me. If I can make it this far, I can make it through.

I’ve taught my first aid classes to the faculty. My first class fell sub-par, in my opinion. I felt very pressured for time and did more talking than practical, so I felt it was very boring and grew tired of hearing my own voice. I had another class the second day and was so determined to make it better. I wrote out what I didn’t like and how I was going to make the second class better. Then, I executed my plan and found redemption. The second class was much more interactive, fun, and just…up to my liking. I threw in trivia, lots of demos and practical, humour and trust me, grown ups like trivia JUST AS MUCH AS CHILDREN! Hahaha. This class was also bigger and had more questions, though, so that may have also played a part. It was great and really rewarding.

I have to set up my class now, so I have to cut it short, but some of the most rewarding moments I’ve had here involve struggling/difficult students. I have realized that I am big on the concept of ‘tough-love’. The more you try to get away with laziness, the more assignments I give you. Works for some ppl, not for everyone, but this one particular student (story is too long to type here) was being less than hard-working so I gave him an assignment. He did it poorly so I made him redo it. My happiness lies in the fact that he was able to, with some guidance, give the right answer in front of his class based on the assignment I gave him. Did that make sense? Basically he was able to recall the hw he did and he smiled one of reward and triumph.

11 more days here to make it count.

Love you all, thinking of you all (seriously)
Cass Ma