Week 4 as a Level 1 Nursing Student

This week, I finally hit a road bump. I count my lucky stars to have gone through 3.5 weeks before hitting a problem. So we've got this class (1019) which is our assessment class and it's where we learn the basic assessment skills and normally, we have our class where we go over the homework assignment, practice it on each other, and then we do it in the simulation lab on the dolls (they have pulses, breath sounds, and you can check blood pressure on them...basically like ppl). So this week, we went into the lab before doing the lesson and I can totally tell the difference. Plus, we had 3 groups instead of 2 groups and it was really distracting. It's funny cuz it takes that to really appreciate the group you normally work with. So we had a scenario running and I just took forever and a half and when I couldn't get the blood pressure on this one doll, I got so frustrated with myself that I just gave up. There was a minute left, only, but it was more upsetting that I just gave up so easily. Because I hate giving up on things that are important to me. So to sum that up, I was just disappointed in myself. I did alright in the intimate class setting afterwards, but I can totally say that my confidence was shaken. But whatever, you win some you lose some. This only makes me want to do better because I hate the feeling of disappointment and my pride (a good and bad thing) hates taking a beating. Especially in front of an audience. So I bust my chops to make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm very lucky that one of my closest friends offered to help me out by lending me her body for me to do assessments on!

Ok, so in clinical this week, I experienced my first heart wrenching encounter with a patient. It wasn't even my patient. I remember them from my first tour of the hospital, 3 weeks ago. Can you imagine being in the hospital for over 3 weeks? So the first time I remember this pt was being helped onto the commode (toilet by bedside) and they couldn't make it so they went on the floor. I remembered them crying, saying they wouldn't make it and sounding really distressed. Apologizing. They kept on apologizing for being a burden. One of the pillars of nursing is about maintaining one's dignity. How would you feel if you had to get help going to the toilet, not making it, and going on someone's shoes? So this week, I went into my patient's room to talk to introduce myself but they were in the bathroom. The long-term pt looked at me tearfully and asked for her nurse to help her. The nurse came in and curtly answered that she didn't have time to help her comb her hair right now. So the pt turned to me, and I wasn't sure if I was able to help or not, or if that would be considered taking over the other nurse's job or not. I was afraid I would be stepping on that nurse's toes. But I did it anyway and the patient was so grateful and apologetic and it really tugged at my heartstrings. I didn't get into any trouble at all, though. My instructor encouraged it, actually. I guess it was just really shocking to see. I understand that it's difficult, being shortstaffed and they probably have a tonne of other things to do, but I felt as though it could have been dealt with it in a better manner? It's easy for me to observe and criticize, since I've only been in school for 4 weeks, I suppose.

For me, the lesson here was to find things in the job that encourage you and make you feel good. You hold on to the things that make you smile in this profession because that's what keeps you going.

First final exam next week and I'm blogging. Go figure.